Forever and Always
by ceointraining
Summary: Bella Swan fell entirely in love with her best friend, dreaming of forever with him. But what happens when everything doesn't go as well as she had planned? What if he broke her heart before they ever had a chance?
1. Chapter 1

**Starting fresh with this one too - breaking the first chapter a little bit as well so we establish some better character development and detail :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. **

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_Eleven years old…_

Forks, Washington was a small town with an even smaller population of people. So, everyone knew everyone. It had its ups and downs, but Forks would always be home to me.

Mom and I were on our way to Forks for the first time that I could remember, the reason for our move being her need to repair her relationship with my father. My father who she'd left when I was three and walking out on. A father who I had never met in my entire life, and really had no idea about until my mother came to me a day before we left, telling me we were leaving. Leaving my friends, my school, everything – my entire life was in Phoenix. As any typical 11 year old, I was beyond annoyed. But in her opinion, this was for the best. I didn't really understand why we needed to move – I thought we were doing kind of okay with just the two of us.

So, harboring my feelings and sucking it up, I went along with my mother. It was possibly the first time in my life that I'd seen her act so responsible. Her carelessness and mid-life crisis had me really matured for my age. At 11, I felt as mature as girls years beyond my age. Being the only reason why our house was clean, that there was food in the fridge, covering for her when she would be gone for days on end – all reasons why I was used to fending for myself and on my own for most of my 11 years. I wished I could just be like any normal 11 year old, but it was never like that. And I knew it never would be like that.

Before I knew it, we were parked into the driveway of my father's home. Well, it'd probably be better to call it my new home, but it didn't feel like that yet. I'd give it time, but I wasn't all that sure. I looked up to my mom, seeing her fingers flex on the steering wheel, her usual reaction when she was was extremely nervous, as she took a deep breath before opening her door and stepping out of the car. Sighing, I opened mine and saw a tall man walk down the steps. He looked familiar, but I assumed as much. I was young when I'd last seen him, but not young enough to completely forgot about him. He walked up to me as I put my backpack around me and closed the car door, his dark moustache twitching as he was clearly unsure of what to even say to me.

_Grownups._

I rolled my eyes and stuck out my hand. "Hi, I'm Isabella Swan. But you can call me Bella."

His eyes widened and jaw dropped a bit when he didn't get what he expected, and nervously chuckled as he stuck out his hand to shake mine. "I'm, uh, Charlie. Nice to see you again, kiddo."

"I'm not a kid," I huffed, placing my hands on my hips. Just because I was young, didn't mean I was a child. Hello, I _did_ say I was mature for my age.

"Isabella, enough!" My mom snapped at me, and I instantly stood up straight. Even though I did take care of my mother most of the time, she still terrified me. The constant drinking always had her angry, and I was almost always the target of her lashing. The only comforting thing about moving in with my father was the fact that maybe I would've been a bit safer from her this way. I wouldn't out her to my father, which was why I wore long sleeves and pants even in the hot summer heat. That way, no one would see the marks on my body. I would be safe.

_I hope_.

"Renee." My father looked directly at my mom, the angry look in his eyes mimicking just as hers had been with me. When she looked back at him, her eyes softened and she grinned at him.

"Charlie! You haven't changed one bit," She teased, trying to soften him up a bit with being her charming self, but for once, it had no effect on this man. Men would usually grovel at her feet, what with her beautiful olive skin and golden brown hair, cheekbones fit for a model and bright brown eyes. But this man, my father, was apparently immune to it.

"Go on inside. I'll grab your bags," He dismissed her, walking by to the trunk of our Jeep and pulling out the few bags that we had. Well, more like the few bags that my mother had. All of my belongings fit in my backpack. I was never treated like her child, but rather an extra weight on her life, so she did barely anything for me. That included feeding me, dressing me, and taking care of me at all.

I walked up to the house quickly, admittedly a little excited to see how everything looked like. My eyes darted around to the living room, kitchen and dining room, the warm feeling of a real home already getting to me. And all too soon, I felt a strong hand grab my shoulder and whip me back to the ground. I landed on my butt, wincing at the pain that went through my body. I was about to stand back up before my mother's hand pushed me back to the ground and held me there.

"Are you just plain stupid, or have you completely forgotten how you were raised, Isabella?" She growled, her fingers digging into my shoulder. I bit my lip to hold myself from crying in front of her, which would only make her hurt me even more. "Don't you even think that you can do whatever the fuck you want just because your daddy is here. You know what'll happen then. Do you understand me?"

I nodded my head quickly, wanting her to take her hand off of me before she left another bruise. Her eyes narrowed before she pulled away and walked into the kitchen. As I was getting up, rubbing my shoulder to get rid of some of the pain, I heard footsteps coming into the house.

"Hey kid, you alright?" Charlie walked over and helped me up, looking at me worriedly as he looked me over to see if I was alright. I began to panic, hoping he wouldn't see any of my skin that I was trying to cover from him.

My mother walked out of the kitchen, narrowing her eyes at me once more before looking to my father. "The kid's clumsy. She can walk it out."

He asked again if I was alright and I nodded my head slowly, knowing full well that I had to convince him quickly for my own sake. I had already screwed up twice in the last five minutes, and look where it'd got me. I had to be more careful.

Charlie had ordered pizza for us, explaining that he couldn't cook for the life of him. His was the Chief of Police in Forks, so he was working a lot. But he assured me that, now that I was here, he was going to spend as much time with me as he could. And as hard as it was for me to get used to everything here, I started to really like him. He always smiled at me, complimented me when I would say something, and seemed to really want to get to know me.

We were just finishing up before the doorbell rang, Charlie getting up to open it. I turned around to look at the door, seeing an older brunette woman standing there with a small little girl beside her. She looked like she was my age, but I thought her hair was weird. I mean, weren't girls supposed to have long hair? That's what I thought, but hers was super short, just reaching her chin and her bangs pinned to the side. It looked a little boyish, other than the pin, but she was one of the prettiest girls I had seen. None of my friends from Phoenix looked like her. The girl saw me looking at her, her eyes shining and lips widening in her biggest smile and waved at me. I didn't want to be rude, so I half-waved back. I was trying to listen to what Charlie was saying to them before I felt a sharp pain in my arm.

"I've had enough of your fuck ups, Isabella. Sit properly and ignore the bitch and kid at the door. No one addressed you, so you don't do the same. Got it?" My mother was furious, glaring at me with her nostrils flared. I was scared, opening my mouth to apologize but no sound would come out. She reached up and pulled my hair, making my head twitch to the side as she pulled harshly. "Answer me when I'm talking to you."

I nodded my head quickly, as well as I could with her still gripping my hair. "Yes. Yes, I understand. I'm sorry."

Charlie walked in before my mother could say anything else and she immediately pulled her hand away, smiling largely at him. "Bella, I'd like you to meet Esme Cullen. She used to be friends with your mom back when you were still a baby. And this is her daughter, Alice."

Alice looked straight at me, still smiling and waved again. "Hi! Wanna be best friends?"

I shifted uncomfortably, still recovering from my mother and wondering how to react to this girl. I didn't want my mom to hurt me again, but I knew if I kept quiet that would make her mad too. "I, uhm – "

"Alice Brandon Cullen, what have I told you about being so forward? Give her time, you're scaring the poor thing," Esme scolded her daughter, but unlike my mother, there was still warmth in it. She was just teasing. Esme turned to me, a soft smile lighting up her face. "Hello, sweetheart. You've grown up to be a beautiful, young girl."

"Um, thank you," I said softly, trying to smile. I saw something flash behind her eyes already, but it was expected. But what was I supposed to do? I was doing my best to stop shaking and calm my nerves as quick as I could without anyone else noticing.

"Mom, can me and Bella be best friends _now_?" Alice whined from beside her, making me smile for real this time. No, she was nothing like my Phoenix friends, but I liked her already.

"Bella and _I_, sweetheart. And as long as her parents are fine with it, you two can go play on your swing set."

I looked to my frowning mother, who was about to open her mouth and say no before my father said it was fine. She snapped her head at him, but he shut her up quickly. "Esme and her family live right across the street Renee, it's fine. And it'll give us time to talk alone." My mother plastered on a fake smile at Esme, agreeing weakly.

Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door. We walked a few blocks hand in hand as she spurted off her life story to me. Apparently we were the same age and would be going to the same school the week after, which I was definitely happy about. She walked up to her house, which was a bit bigger than Charlie's, and went around the backyard. Her backyard, on the other hand, was bigger than our house in Phoenix. It looked like a playground. There were slides and a trampoline, making me excited already just looking at it. She saw me staring at the trampoline and gripped my hand again, helping me up as we jumped on it over and over again.

Alice had me in hysterics, falling on her butt when I'd land hard on the trampoline. We'd fall down at the same time to see who would be pushed back up the highest. We were on our sides, doubling up in laughter after I almost fell off of the trampoline when a boy's voice boomed at us.

"Alice! What did mom tell you about going on the trampoline by yourself? Oh, hi."

I looked up to the boy in front of me. He was pretty big, and definitely much older than I was. He had short, dark curly hair and he had his arms crossed around his chest. I shyly smiled at him and waved, about to introduce myself before Alice interrupted.

"This is Bella Swan. She's Charlie's daughter, and she just moved back to Forks. She's from Phoenix, and she's really pretty. And funny. She's my best friend," Alice rambled off in one breath. I turned back to look at her with a dazed expression before looking back at the boy and started laughing again when I saw that he looked just like I was.

"Slow down, Al," He chuckled and waved back at me. "What's up? I'm Emmett. Alice's brother. Nice to meet you Bella."

"Um, nice to meet you too Emmett." I smiled back at him, and sat up on the trampoline with Alice doing the same. "So, are we all going to the same school next week?"

"Nope. I'm in high school. Ninth grade," He puffed his chest out a bit, obviously trying to look impressive.

_Boys and grownups. Two groups that I'll never understand._

"Big deal, don't gotta act so macho about it." I slapped my hand on my mouth quickly, realizing how rude that must've sounded. Emmett's jaw dropped, but the side of his mouth started to twitch up in a smirk before we were interrupted by another boy's voice.

"Whoa! Better watch out with that one, Emmett." I leaned my body over to the direction of the voice, this time my own jaw dropping when the boy walked towards us. If I had said anything about not being all that interested in boys before, I totally change my mind. He looked like an angel, copper hair messed around like he rolled around in the grass, but it looked perfect. His eyes were green, like his siblings, but much brighter. He looked about my age, but there was just something about him. He waved at me and smiled lopsidedly, making my heart do back flips like an NFL cheerleader.

"H, I'm Edward. The macho guys brother." His voice was just… _perfect_, making me gulp loudly. I was still gaping at him when his brows furrowed and he let his hand fall back to his side before stepping closer to me. "Hey, are you alright?"

I shook my head and blinked hard a few times. "I'm Bella, and yeah, I'm fine."

If only I knew how completely wrong I was. But at that moment, I knew that there was more to Edward than what I had seen at our first meeting. If I didn't know any better, I would say that was the moment I fell in love with Edward Cullen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you everyone who's jumped back on the F+A bandwagon and left the kindest reviews! I'm so glad I didn't lose you all, and sorry for this update taking forever... life's been chaotic (but what else is new?) Anyways, enjoy! And I will also do my best to send out teasers to those who leave me reviews as well, please let me know your thoughts and hopefully you don't mind with the chapter breaks! I've gone through and edited as I've gone so not all is the same ;)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

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I delicately iced my ribs, wincing at the pain no matter how gentle I was being. I was starting my first year in junior high the day after, and the last thing I wanted was to be careful to cover myself again so no one would see my bruises. My mother's mood with me had only worsened since we'd moved to Forks, but she wouldn't let that get away from making things right with my dad. I still didn't know why she pushed so hard to get into his good graces, but she kept pushing and pushing, but there was clearly no affection or love left between them. I didn't blame him. Hell, she was a crazy bitch. But all the same, I never told anyone about what she would do to me.

I didn't even know what I did this time, but when she'd came home from work and seen that Charlie wasn't home yet for dinner, she lost it on me. Her waitressing gig wasn't as good as the pay she got from doing whatever, or whoever, in Phoenix. And apparently, not so surprisingly, I was to blame. I didn't look this time, I could easily cover it up, other than my cut lip when she punched me. My ribs hurt like hell from those same punches, but the ice would help a little bit. I raised my white tanktop a bit higher, putting the ice directly on my right side and sighing at the sensation. There were going to be some pretty nasty bruises on there, I knew that for sure. Charlie had gotten home a bit after Renee had finished with me, and I told him I wasn't feeling well so I rushed up to my bedroom, locking the door as I did. I wasn't sure how long I was in my bathroom for, leaning against the counter with one hand as the other kept the ice on me when I heard footsteps come into the bathroom and a familiar voice catch me off guard.

"B, you have no idea what Jessica Stanley just said to me. I swear to God, she… what the hell happened to you?"

I dropped the ice into the sink, swearing under my breath at being caught. Edward had made it a recent habit to climb up the tree outside my window and into my room whenever he pleased. And that's why I made sure to always change in my bedroom in case he dropped by. He still made me nervous and giddy when he was around, but it was never uncomfortable. Yes, I definitely had feelings for him, but I would never tell him that. I couldn't even imagine the awkwardness that would ensue right fter.

But now, it couldn't get more awkward. His face was flaming as his eyes zoned in on my ribs as I hastily pulled my shirt back down to cover my skin, but he had already seen it all. Not only that, but the healing bruises on my arms. My eyes darted between him and the ground, my mind completely blank. I didn't know what to say to him. I couldn't lie to him, but I was too scared to talk about what my mother did to me, and had been doing for years. He probably would've thought I was pathetic. Snarky, confident Bella to everyone else but pathetic, stupid girl behind closed doors.

Hell no, not happening. I didn't want anyone's pity.

"It's nothing, I fell," I said, letting my lips turn up to a small smile before turning back to the mirror and looking back at my reflection. I had never felt so ill in my entire life. His footsteps came closer until I saw his face in the mirror, looking back at me. As Edward grew, he only got even more handsome. He was much taller now, his chiseled face more defined as well. And it didn't help that he was an avid sports player, what with having a big brother who was the same. Emmett made it a priority to have Edward playing whatever sport he could, coaching him in everything.

I felt his fingers lift up the hem of my shirt and softly touch my skin, and I gasped at the feeling. It felt like a surge of electricity went through me, with no pain from having touched my ribs but rather another sort of pain. But it was… _good_. Nothing I'd ever felt before in my entire life. I looked up at his reflection and saw him gulp, wondering if he felt it too. His eyes were locked to my side, his jaw tensed as he took deep breaths.

"Bells, what _happened_?" His pained voice and usage of his personal nickname for me brought tears to my eyes, and I bit my lip trying to control myself and not cry in front of him. I never cried anymore when Renee laid her hands on me. Hell, I barely ever cried at all. But right then, with Edward touching me so gently, it made my heart ache. My world shattered, and as I took a breath to try to calm myself, a sob erupted instead. I turned my head away from him, embarrassed, my tears falling down my cheeks. My shoulders shook slightly while I attempted to hold my sobs in. I felt Edward's hand hold my own, still cold from the ice, and another placed under my chin. He gently brought my face back to his, and when I looked back to his eyes, I couldn't hold my sobs in anymore.

"Edward, I'm… I can't…" I cried, letting myself hold onto him as he pulled me into his arms and rubbed his hands soothingly along my back, shushing me lovingly.

"It's okay, Bells. I'm here." He held me while I kept crying, my tears staining his shirt but he didn't care. He just held me and whispered into my ear that everything would be alright. And I believed him. Anything Edward told me, I would believe him. It was always how it was. I trusted him more than I trusted myself.

I wasn't sure how long he had held me, but I was so comfortable in his arms… it felt so perfect. I sniffed and tried to pull away from him, telling him I was fine but he wouldn't let me go. He was holding me as tight as he could without hurting me. I knew I looked fragile to him now after seeing my marked body, and that was the last thing I wanted him to see me as, but I couldn't bring myself to let him go. After a few moments, he finally broke the silence.

"Was it Renee?"

I tensed immediately, frozen completely, and he already had his answer without me saying a single word. There was no need for me to deny it. Edward knew more about me than I knew myself, seeing through me and helping me find my way when I was lost. And that's exactly what he did that night.

I sighed softly and snuggled into his chest more, nodding to answer him.

With every day that followed, he became a larger part of me – he was my everything.


	3. Chapter 3

**My annoyance with work today has led me to procrastination - so here's a quicker update than expected!**

**As a note, I know many reviewers felt that the abuse Bella had been facing from Renee was unrealistic. And the sad fact is, it's not. Unfortunately with dealing with young children who had grown up with violence in their homes, they know every way to hide anything. And their parents know every way to hurt their children in places where it's not as noticeable. For example, the ribs, like the last chapter.**

**Stay with me though, this may be fiction but not totally out of the park. And as a FYI, this chapter has quite a bit of child abuse, so please be warned if this topic is sensitive for you.**

**Enjoy, and hope to read your thoughts in reviews. Hoping you'll all still stay with me after this one though!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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"Thanks for the ride, Alice!" I leaned over into the passenger side window and smiled at my best friend behind the wheel before heading into my house. Even at seventeen, Alice still had her adorable baby face and dimples. She even kept her short, perfectly styled hair which many of the wannabe's at Forks high tried mimicking but never got it just right like she did. I watched as Alice drove off in her brand new black Mercedes – a birthday gift from Carlisle, who had been newly promoted to Chief of Staff at Forks Hospital. With Esme's interior decorating business going off and him running the hospital, things were good for the Cullens, and I was beyond happy for them. The only downside was that they had moved farther away from being a few blocks down, so it wasn't an easy walk to their place, but we still made it work as best as we could. If Alice couldn't drive to my place, I'd drive to her place with Big Red, the old rusty pick up that my dad had fixed up for me for my seventeenth birthday. Maybe not as classy as a sleek Mercedes, but it brought me from point A to B. And plus, it meant more to me than anything else because Charlie had worked so hard to make it perfect just for me.

Our relationship had gotten much better over the years, we were finally close to having the perfect father daughter relationship, which didn't sit all too well with my mother, who seemed to surprisingly get even more bitter over the years. And Charlie also knew that I was hiding something from him… He had tried many times to pick it out of me, but seeing that I wouldn't budge, he'd drop it.

Luckily for me, Edward had seen my bruises but after a lot of begging from me, he kept it quiet. Even though he was beyond furious with me for keeping my secret. As hard as I tried, he just wouldn't understand – no one could understand, not even me. In the beginning, I kept quiet so she could finally make things right with Charlie, and maybe that was the naïve child in me that hoped I could have a perfect family like Alice, Edward and Emmett did. But now? I didn't know why, maybe I was still that naïve, lost child. And at the end of the day, my mother still terrified me.

Since that night, when Edward would come by my room, he would inspect me each time and help tend whatever new injuries I would have. No words were spoken, but you could hear his deep breaths as he'd delicately clean me up. I'd catch a glimpse of his face during and could see his jaw tense as he'd grind his teeth, and sigh when he'd find a bruise bigger than the last one. He was so perfect, so beautiful and perfect while I was so broken, but I couldn't let my feelings for Edward get in the way. Plus, I had heard the rumors about Edward and the many girls he had been with at Forks. As much as I'd berate myself for being silly enough to listen to high school rumors, I couldn't help it. But I'd never mention it to him, that'd just make things a whole lot awkward than they'd have to be. Still though, it wasn't always easy ignoring the rumors. The girls at Forks High were all jealous of the relationship Edward and I had because of how close we were, but I never really let that bother me. Plus, they now knew better than to try to test me. Unfortunately, all of the anger that I harbored against my mother would sometimes be let go when anyone even set me off in the slightest way. I couldn't help it, I'd just see black and I would just lose it. The worst had been when Jessica Stanley got a little too close in my face and taunted me, apparently about how she had been sucking Edward off the night before. I couldn't stand her screams and her insulting me, and the next thing I knew, my fist collided with her face. A second after, I felt two arms pull me away and I reflexively spun and was ready to punch whoever touched me, until I realized it was Edward. He pulled my hand and brought me outside, sat me in his precious silver Volvo, and hugged me tightly while I calmed myself down and my breathing went back to normal.

And so much for trying to _not_ let my feelings get in the way, especially when he did things like that.

Pathetic, right? Not only do I have a psychotic, crazy bitch of a mother who beats the shit out of me on a daily basis, but I'm completely head over heels in love with my best friend, who has no idea and doesn't feel the same way.

But those were the cards I was dealt with, anyway.

I walked into my house, locking the door behind me and holding in the groan when I saw my mother sitting in the family room. I knew my dad wasn't home because his cruiser wasn't outside, so I had planned on making a quick escape to my bedroom without her seeing me. I said nothing to her as I kicked off my shoes and hung my jacket in the closet, turning around and gasping when I saw that my mother was right behind me. I could smell the alcohol reeking off of her, which wasn't what scared me. It was her eyes, and the way they were staring at me. She didn't look angry like she usually did, her face wasn't twisted in that way, but by the way she blankly looked at me, I had a horrible feeling in my gut.

"Where were you?" Her dead voice made me feel even worse, so I quickly explained to her.

"Alice and I went to go dress shopping. Emmett's 20th birthday is in a couple of days, so she helped me find something to wear."

"I don't recall you asking me. Who said you could go? And where did you find the money to go dress shopping, hmm?"

_Shit_. "You were working this morning, so – "

Her growl shut me up immediately as she interrupted. "Did I fucking as you where I was? I asked you who said you could go and where the hell you got the money from, Isabella. Answer the fucking question properly!"

"Ch-Charlie did. And I used my own money, I just got my pay from the diner."

"Oh, you used your _own_ money, Isabella? It's _your_ money now?"

Now she looked furious, stepping towards me while I backed up against the wall.

"Well I mean, it's my job and that was my pay, but –"

I didn't manage to get another word out before her left hand grabbed my neck and pushed my head into the wall so hard that my vision blurred for a moment. I could barely breathe as she tightened her hold and snarled right into the face.

"You pathetic little brat, that's not your money. It's mine! I own you, so everything you have is mine. So that means that you went out and spent _my_ money. You stole it from me."

She pulled me towards her and pushed me back into the wall again, harder than she had the time before. Whatever breath that was in me left my body as my legs buckled underneath me, but her arm kept me up. She winded back her right hand and punched me in the stomach, making me gasp out and grab it in pain. Before I managed to breathe through the pain of her punch, she pulled my forward and slammed my head back against the wall again, making me cry out in pain. My vision blurred and I kept trying to gasp for a breath, for the slightest amount of oxygen to just apologize and beg for her to leave me alone. This had been by far the worst that she'd gone on me, and I could feel myself slipping into unconsciousness as the pain ripped through my body. I couldn't scream, I couldn't make any sound but cry in pain.

"Don't you even think I'm done with you yet, Isabella." She gripped my hair with the hand that wasn't wrapped around my neck and pulled hard in her direction, then roughly grabbed the side of my face. She pressed my cheek into the wall and leaned over to whisper in my ear. "You stupid, pathetic brat. All you do is take it, take everything I give to you like a sad little puppy. Why is that, huh? Why haven't you cried to your daddy yet? You could have ran by now. Could've told your fancy pants friends too. I've raised you well, little girl. You know when to keep your mouth shut."

I whimpered in pain as she pushed my cheek harder against the wall, but she punched me in the stomach again before I could even attempt to. She finally let go of me and my body crumbled to the ground as I clenched my stomach in pain. I couldn't breathe, no matter how hard I tried…

Why couldn't I breathe? Why couldn't I just beg her to stop?

I tried to hold on for as long as I could but I was slipping farther away and couldn't focus. The tears of pain started falling down my cheeks and I was silently praying for someone, _anyone_ to find me. To help me, to save me. Because in that moment, I was convinced that my mother was finally going to kill me.

I knew my tears would have made things so much worse, as she would see that as a sign of weakness and my mother hated that. She would've done worse, but I couldn't help it, I couldn't hold anything in any longer. My body was shutting down from all of the pain, and I was losing my control.

"What are you doing, Isabella? Are you… are you_crying_?" I could hear the surprise laced with anger in her voice. "Are you fucking serious, you're even more pathetic than I thought!"

I tried to brace myself for the next impact but it was no use. The pain from the force of her kicking my side shot pain throughout my body and I was face down against the floor before she kicked me again. The pain started to numb away as she continued to beat me, my body would move against her kicks and punches but I didn't feel any of it anymore. My eyes fluttered closed as everything went black, her continuing to beat me as I started to let go. I could hear her screaming, but also another deeper voice as well before slipping into unconsciousness.

_Finally._


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm sure you all hate me after taking so long to update especially with the cliffhanger on our last chapter - SORRY! Work and life has been absolutely bonkers.**

**Here's the update for you all, let me know what you think in the reviews! I'll be able to send some teasers hopefully this week :)**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

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When I first opened my eyes, I had to blink several times to clear up my slightly blurry vision, then realized that I wasn't in my own house. Rather, in a fairly comfortable bed which also wasn't mine. I squinted against the bright lights which were making the drilling in my head even worse, especially against the sound of loud beeping. Taking in my surroundings, I saw monitors around me taking in my blood pressure and heart rate. So I was in a hospital, but the real question was how the hell I got here.

I tried moving my right hand and felt a sharp pain up my arm, and I looked down at the source of my pain and froze.

Barely a couple of inches away from my fingers was an unconscious Edward, who even in his sleep looked like the most beautiful human being I had ever laid my eyes on. He looked so peaceful, with none of the worry on his face as he had seen me over the last couple of weeks. Before I realized what I was doing, my hand reached over and I ran my fingers through his hair. He looked so exhausted, and even though maybe I was the one who needed someone to protect at that exact moment, I felt this raw urge to actually protect _him_. He was so genuinely good and kind, I almost felt like I just wasn't going to be good enough. Plus I didn't expect him to ever be by my bedside, maybe my dad, or even Alice – but not him.

He started shifting in his sleep and I heard him sigh my name under his breath, making me gasp. No way he was dreaming of me, especially not in the way I ever dreamt of him. _Don't be silly Bella, those feelings are only one sided._

But still… I could still dream. I kept running my fingers through his hair, remembering the night he came over and I had done it for the first time, and he told me how much he loved it. It did make me feel a lot better the night he'd told me that after hearing a rumour about someone catching him in the boys' washroom with Lauren on her knees in front of him. I never told him what I had heard, but it still bothered me. So knowing that I could do something that could make him feel good and that those other sluts couldn't do made me feel much better.

He sighed again before his eyelids started to flutter, taking a brief moment before opening them and looking right at me. His eyes shot open when he saw that I was awake, and he scraped his chair his chair closer to me and pushing away the few strands of hair that were on my face.

"Bells, you're awake?" It was more of a statement than a question, but he frowned as he looked my face over before breaking out into a smile. "You're awake."

His touch always had the strangest feeling to me, making me giddy but giving me this weird shock at the same time. I played it off like I usually did and groggily smiled.

"Yeah," I managed to croak out and licked my dry lips before trying to talk again. "How did – what hap-"

"You don't remember?" He frowned, his jaw tensing and lips forming a straight line as he turned his head away from me. My stomach sank as I played back my memories and tried to remember what I last remembered.

_Okay Bella, start from the beginning._

I went shopping with Alice. She drove me home, and I remembered waving bye to her. Charlie wasn't home yet so dinner wouldn't be ready, which meant I had to get to work. I walked in to the house and saw Renee in the family room. The smell of alcohol filled my senses until I realized what happened.

"Mom," I whispered, my heart rate beginning to race as I started to panic. Where was she? Was she looking for me? Oh God, I was in the hospital, so I had to make up an excuse with what happened to me. Would she be waiting outside for me, hearing what I would say? Would it be enough for her, or would she get angry again? My throat tightened even more as I kept freaking out, and I tried to breathe but I couldn't get enough into my lungs. My sight was hazy again, and I could only hear muffled sounds through my ears as if I were underwater.

I felt something on each of my cheeks, the warmth from them spreading throughout my body. It was soothing, and I was able to concentrate on trying to get air into my lungs. A few moments later, after my sight and hearing were slightly back to normal, I was met with Edward's face, and I heard him say my name over and over again.

"Bells, look at me," He said gently, and I brought my eyes up to his, trying to breathe but I could barely even get a breath in. "Bells, I'm here. Look at me; it's going to be okay. I'm here."

I listened to his comforting voice and felt my eyes well up with tears, but I wasn't upset. In fact, I didn't seem sad at all, especially after what I had just gone through. In that exact moment, I knew – I was hopelessly in love with Edward. He was my person.. And when my body started relaxing and I could breathe properly again, I didn't stop slipping into his stunning, green eyes. For a moment, I thought that he must've felt the same way.

"Don't go Edward, please," I begged quietly. "Please, don't leave me."

He shifted over and moved off the chair and sat on the side of my bed, cradling both my hands and staring at me with a look I had never seen before.

"I would never leave you, Bella. Ever."

Everyone was in complete awe when they walked into the Cullen household, amazed at how beautifully the designers had decorated the place for Emmett's birthday. I wished I could've seen everything, but I was confined to the couch in the living room. Edward's rules.

I guess it was only fair, considering I had only been let out of the hospital for a few hours. But it didn't matter what had happened, I wasn't going to miss Emmett's birthday. Over the years of living in Forks, he pretty much became like the big brother I never had. The best part was, even when his friends were making fun of Alice and I, he wouldn't have it. He was never embarrassed for standing up for us, even with us being four years younger than him. Emmett Cullen was different, but in an entirely good way.

And plus, he came down from university to come to his birthday party organized by his family and friends. He could've partied away in Washington, but he let his U Dub friends wait another day instead. He definitely needed some R&amp;R time though, especially with all his medical studying. At first look, anyone would've thought that the big, handsome guy in front of them was just a typical jock, but that wasn't Emmett. Not only was he totally model material, but he had some wicked brains to go with it. He took following in Carlisle's footsteps seriously, and that's why he went into also following his career path. We were all beyond proud of him, and I for one was excited to see him again

Problem was, he was on his way and I was completely terrified. I knew everyone had now found out what Renee had done, and also that it was going on for years. Although there were some slight suspicions during periods of times, no one had expected that it was actually physical abuse. I suppose the combination of my playing it off due to being a clumsy kid and hiding it well, I was the classic textbook case. When I had gotten home, Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the driveway again. I was absolutely terrified, wondering if Renee was still in the house. But when Edward brought me inside, he told me that she was gone. And that Charlie was out taking care of something, which I assumed was related to Renee, and that he would be at the party tonight.

I didn't want everyone to know. I was embarrassed, to say the least. Look at poor, pathetic Bella, who couldn't even protect herself against her own mother. Except no one looked at me weird, and no one had questions on why I was all taped up. Or where the stitches on my head came from. Or why my lip was busted.

God, I looked like a fucking mess.

But Edward assured me that I looked beautiful when I walked out of my bedroom, wearing the new dress Alice and I had gone out to buy. It was strapless, fitted until just above my waist and then flowed out to right above my knees. Edward had always complimented me on how much he liked blue on me, so that's what colour I chose. It was simple, the lace along the fitted part the only thing that kept it from being too plain. But I liked it, and blushed when Edward had agreed before helping me down the stairs.

However, according to Edward, if I were to go to the party I would have to abide by his own rules.

Rule number one: I don't move from the couch. If I need anything, I'm to ask him and he'll get it for me. He'd only leave the living room if he was to get something, but he would stay with me other than that.

Rule number two: I was not to answer anyone's questions, if they brought it up, about what happened to me. According to him, "it's none of their fucking business". I told him I obviously couldn't say that, so he said to just ignore them or make a witty comeback. Yeah, I was good at those, so that was fine.

Rule number three: Do NOT move from the couch.

Yeah, that rule he made really clear. And after what he'd done for me, I wouldn't have denied him. He didn't go into how I got to the hospital. Hell, he'd changed the subject more times than I could count when I would bring it up, but I knew it had to do with him somehow. Alice started to cry when I walked into the house and started asking me if I was okay and if anywhere hurt, but Edward quieted her quickly before she could say any more. Esme and Carlisle didn't say a word, but instead hugged me gently like I was about to break, and I saw Esme's shoulders shake when Carlisle had pulled her into his arms once we'd walked away.

There was something going on, I knew it. And I needed to find out.

I started to plan things out, backup plans to my own backup plans starting to form before I heard everyone yell 'Surprise!' in the other room. I looked up and saw everyone cheering before it went silent too soon. They started to huddle to the wall, and Edward yelling Emmett's name angrily before seeing him emerge out of the crowd. He pushed the last person out of the way, not pushing too hard but it still scared me when they went stumbling to the wall, and then he froze when he saw me. I swallowed nervously and waved at him.

"Hey big brother, happy birthday!" I smiled, although knowing it was all a fake act that I couldn't play off this time.

"Don't you fucking do that, Bella. I swear to God, don't you even try to act like there's nothing going on," He growled, and I saw Edward come up from behind him, his eyes narrowed as he grabbed Emmett's arm.

"Emmett, just relax for a second.."

Emmett wretched his arm out of his grip and pointed his finger right at his face. "Don't you dare, Edward. I won't sit here and pretend to enjoy myself like the rest of you."

He continued to charge his way to where I was sitting on the couch, and I instinctively pushed myself back further into the couch, trying to brace myself for whatever was coming, but found myself in pain instead from the sudden movement. I gasped, but it sounded more like I had sobbed, and my eyes started to tear.

_No, no. This isn't happening._

I didn't know why I was scared, it was only Emmett. But from having this same thing happen every time before Renee would have at it with me, it was an immediate reflex. When I looked up at Emmett though, I realized it was the wrong one. He stood like a statue in front of me, jaw dropped, his deep breaths the only sound in the room other than the whispers of Esme and Carlisle as they sent everyone into the other room. Emmett took a small step towards me, watching if I would sink back again, and took another step when I didn't. I sat there motionless, waiting for whatever he would do, and he came right to me and kneeled in front of me. His eyes ran over my body, looking at the marks on my arms and the other injuries on me before looking back to me.

"Bella," he said softly. "I would never hurt you."

A treacherous tear fell when I realized that my reaction upset him. I knew he would never hurt me, ever. Especially not like Renee would do. I didn't trust myself to talk, knowing I would've started sobbing right there, so I nodded and gave him a small smile. Instead of him smiling back though, his eyes started to glisten with his own tears, which was another thing that was very unlike Emmett.

"But I am so mad at you. Hell, I've never been so pissed off at you before, ever." He tried to be firm, and I knew he was trying to hold it together, but his voice cracked at the end. "You're my little swan, Bella. You know I'd do anything to keep you safe. Why wouldn't you just come to me?"

I bit my lip, holding everything back, but could feel myself breaking. Calling me Little Swan was one of the names only Emmett called me, everyone knew that. But I couldn't blame him for feeling like he did, any of the people I loved for that matter. Even until that day, I knew that my reason for not telling anyone wasn't easy to understand. Aside from that, I didn't want people to think I was weak, or frail.

"If you didn't trust me enough, I understand. But you could've went to Alice, or Edward. Hell, even my parents. But why, Bella? Why couldn't you just tell us so we could _stop_ her? She could've killed you."

That was the moment where I couldn't hold it in anymore. A tear slipped down his cheek, and I broke down. Emmett leaned over and wrapped his arms around me, being careful not to hurt me. Sobbing into his shirt, I kept crying that I was sorry. That I didn't want to hurt them. That I loved him. But it wasn't enough for me, I would still be guilty no matter how long it took for him to forgive me. Or for any of them to forgive me. I wasn't sure how long Emmett held me until I stopped sobbing, but when I looked around, I saw that everyone had left. I apologized again to Emmett for ruining his birthday, but he told me that he didn't give a shit. He wouldn't let me go, even when I'd stopped crying, until I heard another voice behind him.

"Bella?"

My head shot up to my dad's voice and Emmett let me go before I stood up, running towards him and ignoring any pain it caused. He immediately pulled me into his arms and kissed my head, his own tears now falling down onto his shirt with my own.

"Sweetheart, I'm so, so sorry," He whispered, gently rubbing his hand on my back. "I can't believe it, I should've known. There were signs but I chalked it up to being a new dad and what did I even know? I never knew, sweetheart or I would've stopped her the moment I found out. I'll never let her hurt you again, I promise."

I nodded my head, but I couldn't help but wonder where my mother was during all of this. And even though my dad had promised to keep me safe from her, I wasn't sure if he could do that exactly. She was conniving and insane. There were a lot of things that she could do to get her way.

Charlie pulled back a bit, eyeing me closely but I saw the pain and guilt in his eyes. I couldn't help but let my eyes droop a bit, the whole thing plus the heavy medication I was under having a toll on me. "Damn, you must be exhausted. Do you mind holding on for a bit longer, Bella? I just wanted to talk to Carlisle and Esme about something, and then we'll head home."

I nodded again but yawned. "Sure, that's fine Dad."

"Charlie, I can bring her home if you'd like. I'll stay with her until you get home."

My father's arms left my side, and I turned to look at Edward and smiled, but it slipped from my face when I noticed he had already turned away from me. Charlie nodded, patting his shoulder with his hand and thanking him. But there was a sort of undertone to it. It sounded like he was thanking him for more than just that. Edward placed his hand on the small of my back, leading me out the door and to his car.

The ride home was dead silent. The speakers were void of any music, which was the first time since Edward had gotten his new car. He always blared his music so loud you couldn't hear one another. I gazed up at him a few times, but his face was staring straight out of his window. I felt worse than I had before, but I wasn't able to think about it too much before I dozed off.

I woke up when I heard my bedroom door open as Edward carried me in his arms and placed me onto my bed. I don't think he realized that I was awake, even though I was still a little groggy, and he started to take off my flats. When he did, he sat on the edge of my bed, and I turned my head to look at his form through the dim moonlight coming through my window. He pulled his head into his hands, pulling his hair slightly with his fingers, which was a habit of his when he was frustrated. I pushed away my sleep, needing to talk to him and find out what was wrong. More so, what happened when I was unconscious.

"Edward?" He jumped a bit, but he wouldn't turn to look at me. I swallowed against the fear I had, rolling over to my side, which hurt like hell, and spoke again. "Hey, talk to me."

Still, no answer, and I grew annoyed. He never acted that way with me, and I wasn't going to sit there and just take it. I sat up, but turned a weird way which did something to my ribs and gasped as I lost all the oxygen in me. He spun around quickly and reach out to touch me, but his arm hung in the air instead.

"Bella, are you alright?" He asked, genuinely concerned about me, but I was already frustrated with being left out in the dark. I didn't want to be treated like some pathetic, weak girl, and that's exactly how I felt.

"No, Edward. I'm not alright!" I snapped, wincing again when I put too much force into it. He leaned over to try to help me, but I stopped him by putting my palm up to him. "I'm not alright at all. I've had to deal with the silent looks from everyone, whispering behind my back about things that I have no idea about. No one will answer my questions, and no one will treat me like they did less than three days ago. I'm not a piece of glass so I won't break. And especially you, you've barely talked to me all night!"

"Me? You're blaming this on me?" He was shocked, but his anger came back immediately. "Don't you even try me, Bella. I'm not to blame for anything. Blame that fucking disgusting mother of yours, she's to blame for everything. And if you don't want to do that, then blame _yourself_."

I froze, narrowing my eyes at him as he pulled the unthinkable. "Blame _myself_? Right, that's perfect, I'll do just that. I didn't ask for her to give birth to me, Edward. I didn't ask her to leave my dad and move to Phoenix. I didn't ask her to take care of me, and I didn't ask her to bring me back here. And I sure as hell did _not_ ask her to beat me whenever she felt like it!"

There was nothing but silence for a few moments as we both tried to calm down. We were both still mad as hell, but it wasn't at each other.

"I'm sorry," Edward finally admitted, breaking the silence. "I didn't mean that at all. You're obviously not to blame for any of this fucking mess. I'm just angry at the whole thing. I just wish you could've listened to me back when you first told me and said something. And I was an idiot for not telling my parents when I found out."

"It's alright, I know," I sighed, reaching out and running each one of my fingers over each of his, something that I'd started doing when we'd have our heart to hearts together. "I can't say why I never said anything. But I know that I didn't want people to think I was weak, or treat me differently. I mean, you saw everyone in there Edward, that's exactly what they were doing."

"Everyone's still in shock, you just need to give them some time, trust me." I nodded, because I did trust him, and he intertwined his fingers in mine. I looked up to him and saw the same bright green eyes I always loved holding back unshed tears. "Bells, you have no idea what I went through these last couple of days."

I swallowed back the lump in my throat. "Edward, what happened?"

He looked away, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly before looking back at me. "I wanted to come by to see if you wanted to see the present I got Emmett. Right as I got out of my car, I could hear the screaming from inside your house. And I recognized your voice, so I ran in there. The door was unlocked, so when I opened it, I saw Renee kicking you and I flipped.

"I was so fucking angry Bells, I swear, I lost it. So, I went up to her and pushed her and she fell right on her ass. She was so drunk she could barely pick herself back up, so I dragged her to the washroom, pushed her in there and propped up a chair underneath the doorknob so she couldn't get out. But when I got to you, you were already unconscious. God, Bells, you were bleeding so badly and I panicked. I picked you up, put you in my car and drove you to the hospital. I called your dad and mine on the way, so he would be there when we got there.

"Your mom, well, your dad went home and confronted her. I don't really know exactly what he did, but I'm guessing that's why he wanted to talk to my parents. I don't really give a fuck what he did to her though, as long as you're safe."

He took a deep breath, caressing my hand with his free one, looking down at our joined fingers. "Bells, I was so scared. I really thought that I was going to lose you. I wish I could've came sooner because none of this would've happened." He chuckled deeply, and I saw the shine of a falling tear fall down onto my bed. "But I can't do anything now. I can't change the past, but I maybe I can help change the future. And I'm tired of not being with you the way I need to.

Edward looked back up at me, and I couldn't help but start to cry again. He reached up with our locked hands, brushing away my tear with his thumb.

"Bella, I can never lose you. I wouldn't be able to live if I ever did." He took in a shaky breath and leaned in closer. "I love you."

And once those three glorious words were spoken, Edward Cullen gave me my first kiss.

His lips were warm and soft against mine, moving slowly against my frozen ones until I quickly reacted and kissed him back. It was short, but it meant more to me than any other thing in my entire life. He was still gentle with me, but it was all I needed.

"I love you too, more than you know." I whispered once he pulled away, giving me one more chaste kiss before he smirked through his tears.

"Hey Bella, will you be my girlfriend?"

I couldn't help but laugh as he changed the mood between us, making me laugh even though I was hurting inside. And outside, for that matter.

I hummed and tapped my finger against my lips, pretending to be in thought. "I don't know. I'll have to think about it."

His crooked smile lit up his face as he leaned in and kissed me again. "Well, how about now?"

"S-still t-thinking," I sputtered, completely dazzled by him. He leaned in again, kissing me the smallest bit harder.

"And now?" He said softly, his voice deeper than usual.

"Maybe," I whispered, closing my eyes before he kissed me again, but this time grazing his tongue softly against my bottom lip.

"What about now?" I kept my eyes closed and nodded before I felt him shuffle off the bed. I shot my eyes open and saw him walking away, asking where he was going. "You can't sleep in that dress, even if you do look beautiful in it. It'll get ruined."

I nodded again stupidly, still in some state of shock after that amazing kiss. Sorry – kisses. Edward took out a pair of flannel pants and t-shirt out of my drawer, placing them on my bed before leaving my bedroom so I could change. I went as quick as I physically could to get my dress off and put on my clothes, calling him once I was finished so he would come back in. He stood there awkwardly, knowing he was supposed to wait for Charlie to come back, but I needed him near me. I moved back slightly and patted the bed beside me, pulling back the covers and putting them around me. He still stood there, probably wondering what his next move would be.

_Boys_.

"Edward, stay with me? Please?"

He took in a deep breath before pulling off his shoes and walking to my bed. I pulled back the covers for him as he gently settled in beside me, keeping a safe distance away from me. I shot him a look and he sighed, giving in as he moved closer and shifted to his side, settling his arm on my waist softly. I reached and intertwined my fingers in his free hand, rubbing my thumb on the back of his hand.

"Thank you, for everything." I yawned then, managing to tell him that I loved him before closing my eyes.

"I love you too, Bella." I heard him whisper as I drifted off. "Forever and always."


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you everyone for the reviews and new follows! Glad you're all enjoying the story - and to those past readers joining, I have been tweaking the storyline slightly so not everything is the exact same as before, and that trend will definitely continue. **

**So I was planning on sending out teasers last night then was overcome with some motivation, and finished off this next chapter so that worked out even better!**

**A reminder that this story is rated M and you'll see why later - PS I'm so horrible at writing sexy times as you'll see below. Anyways, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

* * *

"Alright Bella, that's the last one. Anything else we need?"

I looked over the college application papers in front of me, frowning in thought while I tried to remember if I was all set.

"Nope, I think that's good Dad. Thanks for helping." I smiled up at him, sincerely thankful that I had him. There was no way in hell that I could've filled the mountains of paperwork _and _finish all the essay writing in time. Our high school teachers really weren't kidding when they stressed the importance of starting applications early.

Note: that would be the first and last time I'd agree that my high school teachers were ever right.

But I was glad that I did finish everything early, because tonight was date night with Edward. Not that we were going anywhere or having this amazing night out. Esme and Carlisle were at a conference for a couple of days, so Alice and I were having a slumber party.

That was actually what everyone else though. But really, tonight was more than that.

Tonight I was losing my virginity to Edward Cullen.

Was I excited? Of course! Was I scared? Absolutely terrified. But it had been more than a year since Edward and I became official. Everyone was beyond ecstatic – apparently they were all rooting for us more than either of us realized. Really though, it was perfect. We grew up together, our families were extremely close, and he treated me better than anyone. Even Charlie didn't make a fuss. After he brought Renee to court and filed for sole custody, his protective dad side was a little bit overwhelming. I couldn't exactly blame him though, I had put him through hell and back. Plus, somehow Renee had gotten off with barely a slap on the wrist – a year of probation and that was it. It was hard for us to accept it, but I wanted to just move on from the hell I had gone through. It was time to move on from all of that and finally live my life.

I hadn't seen or heard from Renee after our last fight and her landing me in the hospital. Charlie had encouraged me to talk to Carlisle about seeking professional help, especially after everything I had gone through over the years. After keeping such a huge secret and being so closed off for so long, it was hard for me to agree with it. So with some more pushing from Charlie and even Edward, I finally agreed. Maybe this was how I would heal from all of that anger and abuse I had gone through, especially the anger. It was always going to be there.

My psychiatrist, Emily, was amazing. She really made me feel like a normal person, and not just some paying patient. She helped me realize that it wasn't my fault, that Renee was sick and I was unfortunately the target of her episodes. So my guilt started to fade away, as did my anger. But in all honesty, I needed much more time to heal. I wasn't going to be a quick fix. And sadly, there were times where I wished I had my mother. I wouldn't tell anyone that, because of the situation and because that was a stupid though tot have. But still, I found myself not angry at her, or even upset at her – I just was numb to anything related to Renee.

Edward stayed back an extra year, claiming that he wanted some more courses in before college but I knew what the real reason was. If I thought Charlie had become protective, then Edward was off the charts with his protective side. But I didn't care – I was lucky. Beyond lucky for that matter. Not only was I in love with the most perfect boyfriend ever, but I had the highest grades in my entire graduating class which meant I was bound to be accepted into the top schools in the country.

Yup, life was definitely good. And tonight was going to make it even better.

Yes, maybe I was only seventeen and maybe this was too soon. But I loved Edward, and he was it for me. There was never and would never be anyone else. We'd messed around a bit, but we've never gone all the way. Problem was, I was really insecure when it came to sex. And the rumours about Edward and his sex life were kind of hard to ignore. So it made me a bit nervous to know that I wasn't as experienced as he was – I wanted to be good for him, and to be good with him.

First things first, I grabbed a pair of matching lace boy shorts and bra, threw on my favourite fitted jeans and deep blue v-neck t-shirt, running downstairs with my backpack to pull on my Vans and head out. Once I'd gotten to the Cullen's, I noticed that Carlisle and Edme's car was already gone. Alice already knew what our plans were tonight, and was actually strangely excited for me, so she played the part.

Edward was still at football practice, still owning the role of team captain and quarterback, so he wouldn't be home for at least another hour. Which gave me enough time catch up with Alice and also make Edward's favourite dinner – chicken parmesan. Being independent and home alone for long periods of time with Renee helped me really hone in on my cooking skills, so I guess there was one good thing that came out of it. By the time I had just finished putting the chicken in the oven, I heard the door open and Edward call out to us. I was finishing off washing the dirty dishes when I felt his arms wrap around my waist and his lips place a soft kiss on my neck.

"Hey beautiful," he whispered as I melted into him. "I missed you."

It was amazing how good he made me feel with just his touch, something I'd never felt before. I leaned back into his arms as he held on to me tighter.

"Missed you too. How was practice?" I turned around and wrapped my hands around his neck. "Coach ease up on you guys?"

"That asshole? Never!" He laughed. "It was good, but exhausting. So now I'm starving and something seriously smells fucking delicious."

"That'd be the chicken parm in the oven, I made your favourite." I couldn't help the stupid beaming smile take over my face as he moaned loudly.

"That's my girl. Always taking care of me. I'll just wash off quickly and be down in a few minutes." I nodded, leaning up to kiss his jaw but pulled back in disgust when I felt a sweat bead trickle onto my lips. Edward laughed and pulled back. "Your fault, told you I needed to wash off. But we'll get to sweating again later, don't you worry."

Thankfully he whispered that last part before running off and leaving me red faced with my jaw dropped, looking like an idiot. I would've probably died right there if Alice overheard too, but luckily she was engrossed in her latest reality show addiction.

Dinner, as expected, was absolutely delicious. Both Edward and Alice loved my cooking so I ensured they'd be enough leftovers for later. Emmett called for his weekly check in, which he started doing after the blowout with Renee, filling us in with what new adventures he'd been up to. Mine and Emmett's relationship became even closer after his birthday, with having a very intense heart to heart the day after. He was like the big brother I wished I could've had, which was a common topic during my therapy sessions, but we were getting better. And that was great.

Before I knew it, our post-dinner movie ended and we started to get ready for bed. I headed to the bathroom and changed into a pair of flannel pants and a tank top before walking into his bedroom. He was lying on his back with his headphones on, but saw me out of the corner of his eye as soon as I was at his door. That adorable crooked smile lit up his face and he patted the bed beside him as I closed the door, walking over and crawling into his bed into my favourite place. Right at his side, snuggling into him. He pulled off his headphones and wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his face into my hair.

"Thank you for dinner Bells, it was amazing as usual. But I'm sure you already knew that, didn't you?"

I giggled and poked his chest. "Yup, but you can keep the compliments coming." I pulled my head back to look at him and smiled.

"Yeah? And what do I get in return?" He quirked his eyebrow, smirking and his eyes darkening as God knows what dirty thoughts were going through his mind.

_Here we go, this is it. _

My heart started to race as I built up my courage. This really was it.

"Anything you want," I told him softly, looking at his lips, which lowered themselves onto mine as Edward gave me a chaste kiss.

"Hmm, well you're gorgeous. Amazingly smart. You're the hardest working person I know, and you make me happier than anyone else. Plus you do this really great thing with your tongue that makes me…"

"Edward!" I squealed before realizing how loud I was, as Edward shushed me and laughed before kissing me again, with more force than he had before. I pushed my body flush into his, running my fingers through his hair. He pulled away much too soon, leaving both of us breathless, and leaned his forehead on mine.

"I love you," I whispered, softly stroking his jawline with the back of my hand. And it was true, I loved him with every single fibre of my being.

"I love you too, Bella. Forever and always."

Our saying, which stuck through the good and bad, and the really bad. It meant more to me than he even knew. I leaned up and placed my lips on his again, urging him silently to keep going as he started kissing me even deeper. I grazed my tongue on his bottom lip, making him groan as he brought his hands to my hips and started to life the hem of my top, slowly. I moaned, letting him know I wanted him to keep going, and he did. His hands slowly went up to the bottom of my bra, as he continued to kiss me even hungrily, and grazed the bottom wires.

"Bella, can I?" He whispered, but I had already started to sit up. He pulled off my top and threw it on the ground as I leaned back against the bed. He watched me as I did and leaned back over me and started kissing my hips. The amount of desire going through my body was more than I had experienced, as I closed my eyes in pleasure as his lips moved higher up to my stomach and then the tops of my breasts, I placed both of my hands underneath his shirt, slowly running them up to feel his abs contract against my fingers. He groaned again and sat up, lifting up his shirt and throating it on the ground next to mine, moving back down on top of me and pulling me by my waist to be closer to him. I whimpered as I felt him hard against me, and it all became real at that moment.

"Are you alright?" He asked breathlessly, his voice husky, and hair a bigger mess than it usually was.

"Perfect," I whispered. "Just don't stop."

Without a moment of hesitation, he kissed me again and I wrapped my hands around his neck. Feeling more confident than I ever had been, I shifted my hips and raised them slightly so I rubbed against him, and moaned loader when I felt him. Edward pulled away and hissed, trailing kisses down my jaw and to my neck, sucking on the skin there. His hands went back to my waist and I felt his finger slide under the waistband of my pants, and I begged him to keep going under my breath. Before I knew it, my pants had joined the pile of clothes building on the ground.

Edward leaned back again and just looked at me, taking me in as I watched him. His hand settled on my knee and ran up my thigh, slowly. A slight moan left my lips again as I closed my eyes in pleasure and opened them again as I felt Edwards thumb brush against where I wanted him most.

"Is this okay? You can tell me if you want to stop, we'll stop." He said, although the last thing I wanted was to stop. This was exactly what I wanted, and he knew he did too.

"This is what I want. I want you, Edward. I need you."

That was all the encouragement he needed as he nodded and pulled off his shorts, leaving him only in boxers. He trailed his hands up my sides to my back where he unclasped my bra and threw it off too. I started to feel a little self-conscious as this was the barest I had been in front of him, but it was gone as soon as I felt him cup my breasts and run his thumbs over my nipples. My back arched in pleasure as I bit my lip to keep myself from moaning too loud and Alice hearing us, even if her bedroom was a safe distance away from Edward's.

He took in a deep breath and cursed silently before I felt his lips on my right breast and his tongue graze my nipple and his hand massage my other breast. I whimpered his name, needing him so much at that moment. The foreplay was amazing but I felt like I was going to combust, so I reached down and hooked my fingers under the waist of his boxers and tried to pull them down. When I couldn't reach down any further, he pulled his lips off of my breast and took them off hastily, reaching back and pulling down my panties. He shifted slightly away to reach over to his night table and pulled open a drawer, and that's when I looked at Edward fully naked.

And holy hell, Edward had been blessed when it came to his dick. I felt myself getting even more turned on as I watched him in his full naked glory while he sat back and ripped open the condom package. I watched as he placed it on him and stretched back over me.

"Bells, this is going to hurt for the first little bit, but I promise I'll do whatever I can to make it hurt less. Promise you'll tell me if it hurts too much, okay? I'll stop whenever you tell me to."

"I promise," I replied, and he nodded, looking back down at me spread open and ready for him. He grabbed himself with his hand and started to guide himself into me. I felt his tip touch my heated core and moaned, wanting him inside me so badly. Very slowly, he started easing into me and I could feel myself stretching to accommodate all of him. When he was about halfway in, that's when it really started to hurt and I held my breath against the pain. It wasn't as bad as I had felt before, but it wasn't exactly all that comfortable. Edward asked if I was okay and I nodded, telling him that I was fine and to keep going. When he pushed until he was almost completely in and could go no further, we both sighed – although his was much more of a pleasure filled sigh than mine. Edward wrapped his arm around my back and held onto me by my shoulder as he pulled back out and slowly pushed back in. Slow, still painful, but as he continued it started to feel better. Much, much better.

He kept his pace slow for a while as the pain started to go away and was replaced by a slightly uncomfortable feeling, but I could feel the pleasure taking over as he began to speed up a little bit, making me moan his name even louder. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around him, whimpering as he went deeper and I heard him groan my name. He pulled away slightly, licking his lips and furrowing his eyebrows as his breathing got louder. Placing his forehead on mine, he kept his pace, whispering my name and telling me that he loved me over and over again.

"I'm really close, Bella. I think I'm going to come." He moaned again and I knew he was almost there. I reached around his back and begged him to go faster before lifting up and kissing him as his stroked became more urgent and needy. I felt his muscles against my hands as he swore under his breath again and a long groan came from his mouth before he stopped and almost collapsed on top of me. It was sooner than I had hoped but I didn't expect to climax our first time, I heard it was extremely uncommon anyways.

The only sounds in the room were our shallow breaths as we tried to recover, before Edward pulled out of me, making me wince. He immediately asked me if I was alright, and I couldn't help the huge smile take over my face.

"I'm just perfect. You're perfect. That was perfect. It was just perfect." I rambled in my post-or

He kept his slow pace for a while and then began to speed up a bit, making me moan his name even louder. There was barely any pain left, and I was feeling him fill me over and over again. I lifted up my knees and wrapped my heels around him, whimpering as he went deeper. He pulled away slightly, his bottom lip quivering and eyebrows furrowing as he groaned. Placing his forehead on mine, he started to go faster, whispering my name and that he loved me over and over again.

It was sooner than I'd hoped, but I couldn't hold back any longer before I climaxed, and I felt him follow me shortly. He stayed hovered over me, breathing in shallow breaths before pulling out of me, making me wince. Panicking yet again, he asked if I was alright and I told him I was fine. And I was. Hell, I was more than fine. I just had sex with my boyfriend who I loved more than anything, and it was the most amazing thing I'd ever experienced.


	6. Chapter 6

**Another quick one - although this one's a little short but things are starting to get a little less happy, so trying not to hit you with the bombs all at once :) Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

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"No way, you've got to be fucking kidding me!" I squealed, jumping up and down with the paper that determined the rest of my life flailing in my hands.

"Bella, language!"

"Sorry, Dad," I apologized, but squealed even louder while jumping even when I saw Alice and Edward walk through my front door. I ran towards them and pulled Alice into a hug, probably making her ear drum bleed with my high pitched screams.

"I got in! Harvard gave me an early acceptance!"

"What!? Oh my God!" Alice yelled and joined in on the squealing and jumping for a while, but it was short lived when I noticed Edward still silent and frowning by the door. "Hey, what's wrong? Aren't you excited, this is amazing!"

He immediately wiped his frown off his face and smiled, but it never reached his eyes. "Sorry Bells, just caught me by surprise. I'm so happy for you!"

Before I could overthink it, he walked over and pulled me into his arms and gave me a chaste kiss, whispering how proud he was of me. But that's when it all started.

For the days that followed, Edward began to become distant. It wasn't much at first – we still spent all of our spare time that wasn't spent studying together, and we were still having the most amazing sex ever. But I could tell he was holding back from me. I loved him, more than words, and I respected his privacy so I waited for him to take his time and come to me when he was ready.

But he never did. And soon later, he started ditching out on our plans last minute, making excuses for not being able to see me but spending more time with his guys. Which was never an issue, I couldn't stand those people who would dump all their friends for their significant other. But it was more than just that. It felt like Edward was ignoring me, or ignoring something that had to do with me. Hell, I was so damn frustrated – I had no idea what the hell was going on. I had asked him a couple of times if everything was okay, and he assured me over and over again he was fine. The last time I had asked, Edward had gotten mad and said I was nagging him, so I stopped. Either way I would love him regardless and be there for him, so I just waited even more until he was ready.

Graduation had come sooner than expected, and Alice and I planned a girls trip to a boutique out in Port Angeles to go dress shopping for prom. When she noticed that I wasn't as excited as I usually had been since being accepted to Harvard, I finally let it all out and told her how Edward had been the last few weeks.

"I don't know Bella, he's been like that for everyone. Even Mom and Dad have noticed, and they asked him at dinner the other night. He just lost it and stormed off."

"But why? I don't get it," I sighed, raking my fingers through my hair in frustration. "He's never been like this. I don't know what I did wrong."

"Hey, don't blame yourself! I'm sure he's just going through something, don't worry it'll all work out," she assured me, pulling me into a quick hug before running off in search of another dress for me to try on. And she found the perfect one. It was midnight blue, Edward's favourite, an off the shoulder dress that bunched up around my waist and cut off above my knees. It definitely flaunted my figure, and I felt beautiful in it, so that was that.

The night before prom, I was on the phone with Edward and had practically begged him to sneak out and come by through my window. And when I say begged, I mean I kind of pulled him into a guilt trip about how I barely saw him anymore. And that I loved him. I even pouted, knowing that he obviously didn't see it, but hoped that it'd still make an effect on him. Sighing, he agreed and said he'd be there shortly. A few minutes later, I saw him climb through my window and sit on my bed.

"Hey," I said softly as I sat up on my bed. I leaned up, placing my lips on his before he pulled away. Frowning, I let it pass because I didn't want to ruin his mood, especially the night before prom. "Everything alright?"

He sighed and shook his head. "No, everything's not alright Bella. Everything's pretty fucked up right now."

He shook his head again and turned away from me, so I placed my hand on his cheek and pulled him back. "You can come to me about anything, and I'll be right here for you. You know that, right?" He sighed again and nodded, so I waited for him to finally tell me what had been haunting him these last few weeks. And then he dropped the biggest bomb on me.

"I'm not going to Harvard with you. I'm going to Stanford."

_Forever and always, Bells._

That was no longer real. I looked down at my lap, letting his words sink in.

"I'm sorry, I just…" he started, but shook his head and stopped.

"But, you said it was your first choice. That we'd be going together," I whispered, my mind denying everything that was going through my head.

"I know, but there were some issues, and I didn't get in. And Stanford's a great school too, so I'm going there," Edward explained and looked back at me, his face void of any emotion. He didn't feel upset, or pained over what he was telling me, not like I was.

"Why wouldn't you tell me, Edward?" I swallowed the lump that was forming in the bottom of my throat and begged for my voice not to shake. "I had applied there too, I could've picked it instead."

"But Harvard is your dream. I'd never take that away from you."

"But you'd rather leave me instead?" I spat, resisting the urge to walk away from him. He fooled me for months, thinking we had a future together yet he hid something so huge from me.

_You're so pathetic, Bella. Look at you._

I could practically hear my mother's voice in my ears, taunting me. Laughing at me.

"This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you!" His voice rose and he ran my fingers through his hair, pulling slightly in frustration.

"Why, because you knew I'd be upset? Why wouldn't I, Edward? I love you, and you kept this from me, and expect me to just be okay with it?"

My voice began to rise before he clamped his hand on my mouth and told me to keep quiet or else Charlie would've caught us both. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down my racing heart, willing myself to relax and lose the adrenaline building inside me because I didn't want to fight with Edward.

"So… what now?" I finally asked, breaking our silence.

"I don't know," He breathed out, reaching over and clasping my hand in his. "But we'll figure it out, Bells. I promise. Anyways, I should go. You've got a big day tomorrow."

"We both do, right? We're still going together to that"

Edward sighed. "Of course, where else would I want to be?"

I nodded, biting my tongue and not allowing the thoughts in my mind be spoken in words, before he kissed me chastely once more and began to make his way out my window. I followed him and watched as he climbed down the tree and he landed safely to the ground before calling out to him.

"Hey!" I yelled, waiting until he turned back around and faced me." I love you, forever. You know that, right?

He smiled again, but it was a sad one that never reached his eyes. "Forever and always."


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the delay guys - life's been crazy for the last while.**

**Here's an update although I don't think many of you will like it :( It sure wasn't fun writing it! Let me know what you all think, and I can give you a little snippet of the next chapter where things do get better, promise!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

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The party at the Cullen's house was, as expected, the craziest and wildest party of the year. The place was decorated beautifully, keeping up with the Bond theme that we had for prom. Edward had left prom before Alice and I, saying that he had to take care of something at the house before we got there. I didn't bring up our conversation from the night before, because I didn't want to ruin the mood of the night and our prom together. Plus, we would figure everything out later like we always did.

But why did I have this horrible feeling in my gut that everything wasn't going to be alright?

I thought last night was bad, but it got worse during prom. Instead of enjoying himself with me, Edward hung around in the corners of the gym, not dancing but guzzling back the alcohol he sneaked in. He stumbled everywhere, luckily not getting caught by any of our teachers, and barely danced or even interacted with me. I was beyond annoyed at him, considering he barely ever drank at all, but he could have at least kept in check for my damn prom. So when we got to the house and he wasn't there, I was even more pissed off. Another thing he barely ever did – lie to me. That's when I knew something was wrong.

I was drinking a beer with Alice in the kitchen when I heard Jessica giggling behind me.

"Did you see Edward? God, he was so smashed. And that blonde he was with? She looked like a fucking Barbie doll. Like, excuse me, but you really don't need that much makeup."

My heart dropped, and I spun around to see her gossiping to Lauren and some other girl I didn't know.

"Where is he?" I asked her, trying to control the anger that I felt creeping up.

Jessica looked at me with disgust before realizing who I really was, and smirked. "I saw him go upstairs. And the blonde was right behind him."

The horrible feeling I had only worsened, and I headed up the stairs, straight to his bedroom. I heard sounds coming from inside – the bed creaking, and a girl moaning. It was when I heard a familiar male voice groaning that I saw red and swung the door open.

The searing pain I felt from Renee punching me and beating me senseless was nothing compared to what I saw in front of me.

Edward was lying down on his bed, eyes closed, and his dress pants pulled down to his knees while the blonde girl was bent over and blowing him. As the door opened and hit the wall, she immediately pulled back and shrieked. Before she had a chance to say anything, Edward drunkenly attempted to push her off and pull his pants off before walking towards me.

"Did you want something, Isabella?"

The air in my lungs completely left when he called me by my full name. The name that only my mother used, especially before she would beat me. He had never called me Isabella.

Edward frowned as I stood in silence, both feeling my heart break into pieces and my anger rising as I tried to control it.

"Hello? Have you officially lost it? Here I was just enjoying myself and – " The sound of my slap across his face echoed the hallway and whipped to the side from my impact. His cheek was pink from where I hit him and he chuckled darkly. "Nice hand. I wonder where you learnt that from."

"Edward," I gasped as everything he was saying to me was ripping a whole into my chest.

"Yes?" He smirked, still swaying slightly from the alcohol in his system.

I looked up to him, hoping I would see something in his eyes that would tell me this was all a misunderstanding, but they were dark and completely lost. He was looking at me like I was no one. "What are you doing?"

He frowned, looking confused. "Well, what does it look like? I'm getting a head start."

"Head start for what? What are you talking about?"

He nodded his head and leaned on his doorframe, stumbling when he missed it the first time. "For college. I'm not a commitment guy, Isabella. So I'll be going to college single, picking up whatever hot bitch I want, and fucking them whenever I please. I couldn't do that with you dragging along, so that's why I picked Stanford."

I took a step backwards, trying to keep myself composed because I would not allow myself to shed a tear in front of him "Are you fucking out of your mind? Stop making shit up, Edward. Tell me the truth."

He tapped his finger on his lips and smirked. "You know, now that I think about it, this could've been so much easier. I could've just let Renee do her thing, you know? I mean, it would've saved me the trouble cause she could've just got rid of you her way."

The next sound that echoed through the hallway was the sound of the crack from my fist colliding with his nose. He yelled in pain and clutched his nose, the girl that he was with screaming and running up to see if he was alright. Once she touched his arm, I saw red. I grabbed her by the neck and spun her around to the other wall, slamming her head against it as she screeched. As I clenched her neck, my mind flashed to the moment where my mother did the same to me and the pain of that pulled me back. I let her go and she slouched to the ground, holding her neck and crying.

I looked back at Edward, who was still clutching his nose as I could see blood around his fingers. I wanted nothing more to hurt him again, to show him how much he hurt me, but I couldn't. I _wouldn't_. I wouldn't be like my mother, in any way.

"I never want to see you again, Edward. Goodbye."

I turned away and left the two of them in the hallway together, as I hoped they would enjoy their miserable lives together while they lived with what they had done. I would leave Forks two days after, spending my summer in Massachusetts with Charlie before moving into my own apartment near Harvard, leaving my friends and family in Forks and the memories with them.

But most of all, leaving any love I had for Edward Cullen.


	8. Chapter 8

**Quicker update for you all! Luckily for me, I've had a bit of downtime before things get crazy again. Let me know what you think - I know everyone had quite a reaction to the last chapter, but things will get good soon! Enjoy this look at the future with this update :) Will send teasers again to those who review!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight.**

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**BPOV**

"Thank you, gentlemen. We'll be in touch soon."

The sharp looking, suit-clad men stood up from their seats, smiling confidently while thanking me and gathering up their paperwork. If only they knew how God awful their pitch was, that stupid smirk wouldn't have been on their faces. But I couldn't bring myself to shatter their egos… yet. They were smooth, sure. Polite, even. And hell, it was Friday and I thought I'd be a little kind and not break them down in front of everyone. Brief dismissal and they'd be on their way out, I thought would be the easiest way.

_I seriously better get some good karma for this._

"Miss Swan, the pleasure is truly ours," one of them boasted, although I had long forgotten his name as he shook my hand with a terrible sweaty grip. "I mean, this is a phenomenal opportunity. There's no doubt that we can develop a great business partnership. Not to mention, working with a gorgeous woman such as yourself. Think of it as you doing us a favour, sweetheart."

_Men_. Being a woman in the business was difficult as it was, but it was the worst when you had cocky, conceited, and absolutely pathetic worms such as the one I just rolled my eyes at walk into your office smelling like they just walked out of an Axe factory. Apparently this one thought that flirting and shots at my own self-esteem would give him an up.

I sighed loudly. _So much for that good karma._

"If only that were the case," I began, leaning back into my leather chair, my voice flat and emotionless. "Your pitch was one of the worst I've seen in my entire career. I'd expect more out of a kid in junior high. There was no spark, no idea, and no structure. Your intro was horrible, failed to captivate my attention. Your presentation skills lacked passion, and your research was sloppy. Not to mention, if you did your math right rather than the garbage you presented, you'd have known that your profit ratio was actually incorrect and instead you'd be costing me money, not saving me."

I held back my grin as the smiles left their faces, and the crooner himself was going red in the face in complete embarrassment.

"All you've done is waste an hour of my time, which costs more than those tacky suits you have on. And if you really think I would invest a penny on that terrible idea of yours, then you must also be deranged. Now, I suggest you take your worthless ideas and throw in those pieces of paper you call your degrees, and escort yourselves off of my property. And how about you do _me_ a favour and burn them when you do, because you really won't need them anymore once word of this gets out." I took a deep breath in, exhaled and smiled widely. "You can leave now."

_Sorry good karma, but man that felt good._

Their jaws all dropped, gaping at me like I had grown a third head before the one who had spoken up narrowed his eyes at me. I quirked an eyebrow at him, just waiting for him to grow some balls and stand up to me. Though, really, it was always the same reaction.

Wait for it…

He opened his mouth once. Twice. Before finally realizing that he would've ruined his entire career if he even spoke a word against me, then hurried out the door with the other dogs hot on his tail.

Typical. They just never changed. But I didn't blame them, I couldn't really. They knew what they were in for before they even stepped foot into the building doors. They knew what they would be facing if they disappointed me, of all people.

I sat back in my chair, reflecting back on everything I'd gone through to get where I was today. Harvard kicked my ass, _hard_. But it was a fresh start, and one that I definitely needed after Forks. Not to mention all of those kickboxing and martial arts classes I took on the side that mostly helped me keep my anger in check and my body as well.

Yes, Harvard was tough and some days I felt like I was going to quit, but I never did. I drove myself to become stronger, smarter, and even more successful. Their business program was notorious, and if you made it through Harvard, you would be known forever. And I wanted a fresh start, right from scratch. Which I decided, would include my name and I stuck with the one that held a strong emotional and mental tie on me. The one that only my mother would always call me, Isabella.

Of course, it was my actual name, but the name brought back pieces of my past that made me vulnerable and weak. It reminded me of how I was manipulated and taken advantage of, and that I would never allow anyone to do that to me again. So, I stuck with it.

I pushed myself at Harvard, beyond any expectations, striving to become the best. And that's what I was now.

At the mere age of 27, I was one of the youngest and most successful CEOs in the entire world. Swan Enterprises was built by my very own hands three years ago, revolving around innovation and discovering new technology that were eco-friendly and ultimately would be used to benefit the world. Whether it was to be implemented in third world countries where children were starving from hunger, or in developing countries who were facing an epidemic and needed a low-cost and easily accessible option to help their healthcare.

Supporters from around the world came in thousands, mostly wanting to get their hands on whatever new and innovative piece of technology we had developed for their own economies, knowing that anything we developed would drastically change their towns, cities, and countries. Either that, or they came to us for an opportunity to invest in their own ideas and concepts. Swan Enterprises was nothing like the world had seen before. It was changing the world as we knew it, by boosting economies and populations around the world, and contributing to making a greener Earth.

Those who wanted to present an investment opportunity came in to my home office in Manhattan, bringing whatever new ideas that they had in hopes that they'd win me over and I'd say yes. Occasionally, I did. But don't get me wrong, there was a lot to live up to at Swan Enterprises. I wouldn't invest in just anyone's pitch – it had to be that good. Plus, I wasn't the easiest person to impress. I was always fairly stubborn, but since everything that had happened in my past and where I was now, I was as stubborn as a brick wall.

But could you really blame me? After having a psychotic, abusive lunatic as a mother who would abuse me physically and mentally whenever she could, and then once more having myself being ripped apart emotionally by someone who I thought I was going to spend my life with, there was no way that I was ever going to allow myself to become that weak and vulnerable Bella Swan again. And that's why she was long forgotten by now. Isabella Swan, corporate titan and wealthy CEO of Swan Enterprises took shit from absolutely no one. I was one of the very few in the corporate world that could either make or break your career.

So those three monkeys from before? Their careers were long gone now, especially the mouthy one. And they knew that.

A soft knock on the door broke me out of my thoughts and I turned to face the door where my assistant was standing.

"Miss Swan? Sorry to disturb you, but Riley's on the line. Would you like me to tell him you're busy?"

I shook my head at Angela, telling her that I would take it from the phone where I was in the conference room. Considering many of my past assistants, Angela was by far the best, and she's also lasted the longest. She reminded me of myself in several ways – headstrong, independent and intelligent. Which is why I liked her. And why she had been my assistant for over a year now.

She nodded and turned to leave, but before I could pick up the phone she came back in.

"Oh, and I almost forgot. The candidate interviewing for the assistant position has arrived, she's waiting outside of my office in the lobby. Your schedule is clear for an hour until your next meeting, so should I still continue with what we've planned?"

I couldn't help but smile at Angela. She knew what I was up to, and I'm sure she would love it just as much as I would, but still stayed professional. I had given her a quick overview of what I had planned for the interviewee, assuring her that she wasn't losing her position, but this was something I definitely couldn't pass up.

"Of course, Angela. You remember everything I'd told you?" I asked.

"Yes, Miss Swan. Everything's prepared. I'll tell her that you will be by shortly when I get back to my desk."

"Perfect, thank you Angela. Expect a little bonus on your next pay as my appreciation for your help." I winked, smiling at her. She blushed and thanked me before leaving the room.

My smile only seemed to grow when I looked back down on the phone, picking it up and laying on my nicely perfected 'seduction voice'.

"Riley, how nice of you to call."

I heard him sigh, whispering my name. "You ran out so quick on me last night, I never had the chance to say goodbye to you properly."

"Properly?" I chuckled, crossing my leg over my thigh. "And how _would_ you say goodbye to me properly, Riley?"

"Isabella," he growled. "Don't tease me or I'll have to come down to your office and _show_ you how I would've said goodbye to you. You really have no idea how hard you make me, it just makes me want you more. I can't get enough of you."

Oh great, here we go. Poor Riley had no idea what 'just fucking' meant, and now I my fears were confirmed: he was getting emotionally attached. What a shame, especially with how good in bed he was. Even though I hadn't reached my peak during sex in years, since Forks anyways. Every time I'd get close, I'd have my pathetic teenage memories coming back and then it'd be gone. No orgasm for Isabella.

Riley was good though, as he'd never stop until I was completely satisfied. Even if I couldn't get off during, he'd follow up with a few other things that would make sure I did.

But so much for that anyways, because he was starting to really ruin my buzz.

"Riley, we discussed this. I had an early meeting this morning. Plus, you know I don't do sleepovers." I rolled my eyes, ignoring the pending headache.

"I know that, Isabella." I could hear him taking a deep breath into the phone as he thought about his next words. "It's just that last night I had an epiphany. I can't do just sex anymore, I want more than that. I want you, baby."

All the air left my lungs at that silly nickname, immediately flashing back to the numerous times Edward would call me that. To the times where I would giggle when he called me by his many pet names, and how he'd kiss me so deeply after. And how I fell into his words and believed I was in love with him.

How pathetic and _weak_ I was.

And this is where I really blew up.

"We had an arrangement, do you not remember, Riley?" I said quietly, trying to keep my anger in control. "I told you, over and over again, but you don't listen, do you?"

"Isabella, please, just listen –" He sputtered, trying to redeem himself or convince me but I was already long past it.

"No, you listen to me, Riley," I snapped, unable to help the growl that left my lips. "We were just fucking, that was it. No strings attached. And that's what we agreed on, and that's what we would've been doing until you involved your pathetic feelings in this. Your dick was all that mattered in our arrangement, and you ruin all of that because you caught feelings. So no, I don't want us to be more than this. And as far as I know, there's no longer even a _this_. Enjoy the rest of your life Riley. Let's hope you find yourself a naïve little girl to have more with, and then you just treat her like a simple _fuck_ just as you all always do."

I slammed the phone down, my heart racing as I had gotten much more riled up that I had expected. Even those last words, I didn't know where they had come from. Although they seemed to be more directed to Edward, than Riley. My heart was racing, hands trembling as I struggled to calm myself down. My anger was always an issue when I was younger and even after taking different classes to contain it, I still couldn't help the moments where it was almost uncontrollable.

I leaned back into my chair and closed my eyes, taking in deep breaths through my nose and out of my mouth.

_Calm down, Isabella. He's not worth it, none of them are. You're better than this._

It took a few moments for me to calm down after clearing my head before I opened my eyes and slowly stood up. I adjusted my black fitted wrap dress and shook off those unwanted emotions, taking a deep breath before walking out of the boardroom and preparing for the next order of business for the day.

Oh, this was going to be _fun_.


End file.
